Discipline & Commitment

If I could sum up all of what I'm learning so far this year in two words, those two words would be discipline and commitment.

These are not my favorite words in the English language. Discipline carries with it such a negative connotation. A synonym that comes to mind is punishment. And who would love a word that makes you think of punishment?

Commitment, on the other hand, could be romantic if you're into that kind of thing. But for me, right now, the only image that I can muster up for commitment is the old ball and chain. Sort of like confinement. A threat to my freedom.

So here we have discipline and commitment; punishment and confinement. And these are the two characteristics that God wants to develop in me. With the frequency in which these words have been coming up, it would seem God wants to me fall in love with these things; to become a walking model of all that is commitment and discipline.

Le sigh.

I could complain. And I probably will. But I will submit to this refinement process. Why? Because an insane person continues in the same patterns expecting different results. And while I can be a bit cray, I'm not THAT cray. I have dreams and goals. I have deadlines and no time to waste. And I can't just live my life on a whim hoping to one day reach the stars. Nope.

I must be disciplined and committed.
I must commit myself to my nutrition plan and be disciplined in my eating and fitness habits.

I must commit myself to my study schedule and be disciplined in how I spend my time.

I must commit myself to my new financial budget and be disciplined in my spending.

Of course I'd love to just be able to eat all the Cherry Garcia ice cream I want. And sure I'd love to stay up watching House instead of responding to discussion questions. And yes I want to be free to spend my money on clothes instead of paying my bills or saving for rainy days.

But... isn't that what I've been doing? And what are the results?

Change isn't easy. But it's the only constant thing in this life. I might as well get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

March is here. The madness is not.

Aaah. The month that all basketball fanatics join together to strategically map out their favorite team's journey to the final four. The madness! The insanity! The chaos! (But not really lol).

This isn't a post about college basketball.

As I reflect on the first two months of 2014, I'd have to say that my mentality and habits weren't much different than they were all last year. I just became much more indifferent. However, after adopting a new 2014 slogan (Romans 12:1-2), a shift began in the concluding weeks of February.

To my surprise, my mind is, in fact, being renewed. Everyday for the past few weeks I am able to gradually adopt new perspectives on God, my life, and my purpose. The "madness" that resided in my thoughts is slowly giving way to peace of mind (and by slowly, I mean painfully slow). I'm excited about March. Not because I have some fond connection with this month or because it's women's history month (which, I must say,does make it cool) or because I like college basketball.

I'm excited about what new changes are going to come about in me and possibly through me this month. I start classes at CSU-Global on the 10th and as far as physical health goes, I've already started changing my diet. I just feel like new habits are going to be formed and old habits are going to die. I'm excited about that.

I'm also excited about what new spiritual things I'll learn. One of my best friends bought me a book by Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church in NC called, "Crash the Chatterbox." I've been listening to the sermons in a series by the same name and I'm eager to read the book. And if that isn't enough, I've rekindled friendships with people I've known for years who have made the same decision to follow Christ and renew their minds too!

The one thing I can do without in March is the snow. I really, really am about tired of the snow. But other than that.. bring on the new month!!

-ElleBee