Progress & Setbacks

Le sigh.

Okay, I will not open up this blog post in a defeated, hopeless tone. However, I will let you know that from my last post to this post my transformation journey has been a serious roller-coaster ride. And I'm not talking about the Superman, with one big dip and one big ascension. I'm talking about the Joker with a whole heap of twist and turns and reversals!

Bad news first:

I didn't do well at Colorado State University Global. I started strong, focused. And then, I got overwhelmed and flunked out. Well technically, I didn't flunk out. I could have passed. But I gave up. Yes, that is what happened, I gave up. I made excuses. I lost sight of my goals.

However, God is faithful, still. And maddd gracious.

So this summer I went back to Howard Community College (where my college journey started) and decided to enroll in an on-campus summer class to fulfill a humanities credit. So far it's been cool. I got an A on my first exam. I paid out of pocket for this class so the need to pass is very REAL. I guess I had to get back to the basics and understand what a sacrifice getting my education really is. But no great goal is accomplished without sacrifice. Right?

I guess going back to finish what I began at HCC ties in to what God has been teaching me this year about commitment. I'm 19 credits shy of an Associates degree. I have to ask myself why not just buckle down and finish here. I guess the answer really lies in my impatience and unwillingness to be seen as the 26 year old girl still at a community college. But you know, it's an insecurity that I'm fighting to overcome everyday. And I must say, it's getting easier. My focus is becoming more and more about achieving goals and milestones and transforming inside and out. When I'm focused on what God is doing inside of me, I don't really have time to focus on what others may (or may not) be thinking about me. It reminds me of a scripture in Philippians 3:

"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

 Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead! That is the focus, folks! Paul sums it up quite nicely. Speaking of straining towards what is ahead....

My fitness journey is coming along quite nicely! I enjoyed the Herbalife nutrition plan. However, I transition out of my dependency on its products and have opted for simply eating clean and staying active. And it's NOT complicated. I literally prep my meals and snacks in one day; pack my lunch the night before; do some kind of physical activity every other day (4-5 times a week), and that's it. And just because I'm slightly competitive, I've challenged myself to run a mile in 7 minutes. This little personal challenge has really motivated me to push my body to do things I didn't think it could do.

Here is my 1 mile time from June 2nd, when I started this personal challenge:

This week, my body did THIS:

PROGRESS FEELS SOO GOOD!!

I'm still pushing it. I mix it up from time to time. I found these cool circuit training workouts from the Women's Health website that I do when I go to the gym. If I'm running on the outdoor track, I incorporate squats, push-ups, lunges, planks, and mountain climbers into my workout. Sometimes, I don't run at all and I opt for the StairMaster (killer) or if I'm outdoors, I run the bleachers (also, killer). Either way, I never skip 2 days in a row. That's my promise to myself.

Welp! That's all for today. I'll leave you with my view from the bleachers. Good night!

Every Moment Is Worth Celebrating

You ever wanted something back you once had but despised when you had it? Like, you totally squandered it back then, but now you are doing all you can to obtain it and do right by it?

Me too!

(And no, I'm not talking about a relationship with a man. Although, as I reread what I just wrote, I can see why that would be your first assumption.)

I'm talking about going back to COLLEGE. My relationship with school has been very unstable. I never fancied college after high school. I fancied money, and like, "right now" money. So I was offered a chill office job with a decent salary and was content. I did that for 4 years and quickly learned how and why money can't make you happy. I also learned why passion and purpose is important to pursue and cultivate in this short lifetime.

So I decided in 2011 to enroll in school full time. My first year was a breeze. I made a 3.5 GPA. I received a scholarship. I rekindled my romance with literature and even developed a tolerance for biology. My second year was a bit rocky. My GPA fell to a 2.0. I was trying to balance work and school but my lust for money always beat out my will to study. I think my GPA would have been worse if it wasn't for my theater class. I LOVED that class.

Anywho..

I went into the next semester very unmotivated and uninspired. The stresses of my immediate circumstances pushed my education farther back on the priority list. My GPA continued to drop until I decided to just stop taking classes all together. During that time, I worked and worked and worked. Then it hit me. I'm doing exactly what I did when I graduated from high school. Working for financial stability instead of investing in my purpose. Sheesh, talk about circling the same mountain! (Old Testament reference).

So this time, instead of hastily dropping everything and attending school, I took inventory of my current responsibilities and what's important to me. At 26, it's obvious that working is a priority because a girl's got bills. So I had to find a school that would be flexible enough to accommodate my current lifestyle. And traditional education wasn't going to cut it. I also wanted a credible school that hired credible professors. And most importantly, I needed a school that would take a chance on me. My transcripts showed a steady decline. The possibility of admissions was slim. I researched some brick and mortar universities that offered online programs and found Colorado State University. Random, right? I live in MD. I've never even been to Colorado lol. But I inquired anyway. And I'm glad I did. My enrollment coordinator is the bomb! She told me exactly what I needed to do to have a chance at being admitted. Of course there were no guarantees but I did all that I could, short of begging, because I really wanted to get my degree. And then this happened:

I imagine this is the feeling 18 year olds get when they receive their first college admission letters in the mail! I'm not 18 and this isn't my first college rodeo BUT I'm going to celebrate this ANYWAY. I am elated! God is giving me another opportunity! Yess!! 

Good news, no matter how big or small, is worth celebrating. For real. That's the challenge to myself. Every moment cultivates momentum towards the desired goal to be accomplished. Every step forward is progress. And the goal is PROGRESS not perfection (my cousin told me that once).

So here's to my admission to Colorado State University - Global Campus. 

One block in the rebuilding of my life. Cheers.

-ElleBee